


Shuffling the Deck and Other Euphemisms

by meridian_rose (meridianrose)



Series: Merry Month of Masturbation (MMOM) 2017 [10]
Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Drinking Games, Euphemisms, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-10
Packaged: 2018-10-30 06:23:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10870932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meridianrose/pseuds/meridian_rose
Summary: Who could come up with the most euphemisms for masturbation had seemed like a game Wynonna could win. However everyone, including her baby sister, was considerably less innocent than she would like to think.





	Shuffling the Deck and Other Euphemisms

"Spanking the monkey," Waverly said, taking another chip from the bowl. "Basic but classic."

"Revving the engine." Wynonna took a swallow of whisky.

"You would choose something motorcycle related."

"And?" She turned to Nicole. "Office Haught, your turn."

Nicole raised an eyebrow. "Checking the undercarriage," she suggested.

"That's not a thing," Wynonna protested. She'd lost two poker games, one scrabble game, and the previous drinking game. Who could come up with the most euphemisms for masturbation had seemed like a game she could win. However everyone, including her baby sister, was considerably less innocent than she would like to think.

"It is so," Nicole protested. "Google it if you don't believe me."

Waverly shook her head. "No! We agreed, no looking things up because it will lead to cheating. You look up spanking the monkey and suddenly you're on a page with a whole list of euphemisms."

Wynonna made a noise of annoyance because this was true. "Dolls. Hit me."

"Badgering the witness," Dolls said with a smug grin.

"Legal themed one, nice," Waverly said and high-fived him.

"Pretty good," Wynonna agreed. "Okay, Doc's turn again. Come on, old man. Beneath that gentlemanly exterior is a man with a filthy mind." Wynonna gave him a smile to show she was teasing.

Doc cleared his throat. "Shuffling the deck," he said.

"That's not real. Is it?" Wynonna looked to Dolls for assistance. He shrugged.

"I've heard of shuffling your iPod," Nicole offered.

Doc considered for a moment. "The iPod is the tiny musical device, yes?"

"Yes," she told him.

Pleased with his modern day cultural knowledge he went on, "And there is also the iPad and the iBooks?"

"You mean eBooks," Wynonna told him.

"No, iBooks are a thing," Waverly said.

"Really? Maybe I should look that up," Wynonna said, reaching for her phone.

Dolls put his hand out, stilling her motion. "Touch that phone and you're out of the game, Earp."

Wynonna rolled her eyes. It looked like she'd have to suggest a game of who could kill the most revenants if she was going to win at anything tonight.


End file.
